I wake before my alarm buzzes still in the dark, still thinking and not thinking of you. Head swirling with dreams, irrationalities and hopes... ...irrationalities of being with you. Fixation fades as darkness saturates, I'm here, not in that world. I am here. Still alive. Nowhere near that version of you.
If I could unclothe myself of the reality and live in my dreams, memories, imagination and fantasies, I would. Wouldn't you? Don't you too, Find the edge of waking life too hard, too solid, too painful, crooked and jagged? Surely you do. Aren't you like me? Slipping in and out of mind and matter, taming... Continue Reading →
Still stuck, spinning wheels in the mud of my soupy silly thoughts. They call it rumination. Or maybe just obsession. Rejected, unloved, abandoned in a fictional realm. Carry the wounds into my life and hurt me again. 1, 2, 3 seconds tick by, each seem to bring a new thought of you. 6, 7, 8... Continue Reading →